I can't decide whether this is clever or silly:
"One day after Randy Williams' fastball hit him in the back of his helmet, Span experienced occasional headaches and could still feel where the ball hit him. It was a no-brainer to keep him out of the lineup Tuesday; he will be checked out again today."
A no-brainer? Did the ball knock his brain out of his skull? I can't tell whether or not this was intentional and supposed to be ironic, or accidental. If it's the former, it's funny, and if it's the latter, it's still pretty funny, but for different reasons. Also, is it surprising that Span's head still hurts, one day after getting beaned?
I think it would be funnier if La Velle E. Neal's article read like this:
"One day after Williams' ball dislodged his brain from his head, Span seemed absent minded as he chatted with the groundskeeper who found Span's naked brain, shoved it into a jar, and asked Span to autograph it."
Showing posts with label La Velle E. Neal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label La Velle E. Neal. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Presto, Change-o, You're a Verb!
Lest I should ever worry that I will find a dearth of silliness in the Star Tribune, I will remind myself to turn to the Sports section. On page C5 of today’s paper I found a glorious little nugget of folly nestled into a story written by La Velle E. Neal, “Halladay’s Twins hex halted by Pavano”.
He writes: “Pavano doesn’t miss bats like Halladay can; he is going to have company on the bases. But Pavano can Houdini his way out of jams, like in the fifth inning when a run was in and Travis Snider was on third with one out.”
I understand the image Mr. Neal is trying to conjure up here, but I just have to point out that Houdini is not a verb. Houdini is a noun. Houdini is a noun because Houdini is the name of a person, and a noun is a person, place, or thing. A verb, on the other hand, is an action. A person, such as Harry Houdini, is not, in and of himself, an action. He performs actions.
The above quote could have been written like this: “Pavano can, like the great magician Harry Houdini, extricate himself from tight spaces.”
I will admit that one of the unique and charming characteristics of the English language is that it allows nouns to be turned into verbs:
“They cornered him.”
“She stonewalled.”
“I’ll brain you!”
However, in this case, turning Houdini into a verb (Presto, change-o, you’re a verb!) just seems like lazy writing to me. It sounds like a frat boy saying, “Dude, that chick tried to Facebook me, but I totally Houdinied my way out of it.”
I'm surprised the story didn't end like this: "And then, after Joe Nathan earned his 38th save in the ninth inning, he turned to Pavano and asked, 'Pavano...where's my car?'"
He writes: “Pavano doesn’t miss bats like Halladay can; he is going to have company on the bases. But Pavano can Houdini his way out of jams, like in the fifth inning when a run was in and Travis Snider was on third with one out.”
I understand the image Mr. Neal is trying to conjure up here, but I just have to point out that Houdini is not a verb. Houdini is a noun. Houdini is a noun because Houdini is the name of a person, and a noun is a person, place, or thing. A verb, on the other hand, is an action. A person, such as Harry Houdini, is not, in and of himself, an action. He performs actions.
The above quote could have been written like this: “Pavano can, like the great magician Harry Houdini, extricate himself from tight spaces.”
I will admit that one of the unique and charming characteristics of the English language is that it allows nouns to be turned into verbs:
“They cornered him.”
“She stonewalled.”
“I’ll brain you!”
However, in this case, turning Houdini into a verb (Presto, change-o, you’re a verb!) just seems like lazy writing to me. It sounds like a frat boy saying, “Dude, that chick tried to Facebook me, but I totally Houdinied my way out of it.”
I'm surprised the story didn't end like this: "And then, after Joe Nathan earned his 38th save in the ninth inning, he turned to Pavano and asked, 'Pavano...where's my car?'"
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